Monthly archive for October 2008

Indignities recently forced upon me by the Anheuser-Busch corporation:

That’s right. FORCED.

Part one of a something something something beer.

1. Offering only one choice of ‘beer’ at the Wailers concert. (Budweiser)

2. Charging 2 Dinars for the privilege of choking down a lukewarm can of said beverage

3. Giving me a bud light when they ran out of the non-light variety, and not telling me so.

4. Putting ice in the aforementioned light ‘beer’.

5. Selling me a half dozen or so of those when they knew FULL WELL that the Bahrain Marathon Relay was the next day. (Okay that one was probably my fault.)

The Wailers were pretty good and I was able to take my shoes off and dance bare foot in the sand, as is the custom in my island home. Only one of them looked like he could’ve been over the age of 30 which was a little odd.

Perhaps its a franchise now.

Hilarious ways in which I almost died today

The first in an ultimately finite series

Stepped on a fish. A whole fish. Just lying on the side of the road.

It seems some higher power is trying to stop me from running in that marathon on Friday.

I believe it was some sort of Breem.

Things that my students got me for my birthday

Birthday Cake. Times Three.

Things that some other chick I talked to received for her birthday: iphone. Times one.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful for 3 cakes, but it kind of put things in persepective. On the other hand, I’m willing to bet that two gigantic fireworks perched atop the iphone didn’t set off the fire alarm and lead to the evacuation of half the school. So there’s that.

I also got more facebook lovin that you can poke a stranger at. Thanks everyone. I’ll return with something actually interesting shortly. In the meantime here are some pictures of boats.

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Embarassing yourself in public 101

An unnumbered episode of a practically infinite series.

First up, there’s this thing:

(I’m the not bald yet one. With guitar.)

Next, I was aked a while ago if I’d like to participate in a relay marathon ‘just for fun’, and to fund raise for a good cause (the Bahrain Round table, I presume they’re defenders of chivalry, the realm, banging King Arthur’s wife etc.)

Sure! said I, with perhaps to much enthusiasm. Its only 3 kilometres! How hard can that be! There’s old people involved and I presume they’ll be walking! Fun for the whole family.

Oh ho no.

Turns out this little jog is actually BAHRAIN’S PREMIER ANNUAL SPORTING EVENT (according to the hyperbole of some radio guy who’s obviously never heard of the formula one) and there are 170 teams of REALLY SEWIOUS RUNNERS and its IN THE FREAKIN DESERT. Due to time constraints (and REALLY SEWIOUSNESS) I have only 12 minutes or so to complete my leg (/destroy my legs) they even have a TOTTALY OFFICIAL WEBSITE (that seems to have been built in 1998).

To make matters hilariously worse, I somehow got bullied into going first for my team, meaning that all eyes (including, allegedly, the cold steely glare of local television cameras) will be on me as I slowly drop out of the back of the pack of ultra-fit, 0% body fat sexegenarians; clutching the layer of beer induced flab between my lungs and the outside world; blaspheming with what little breath I am able to muster. (and abusing semi-colons all the while).

To my training regime then:

Deciding that my usual routine of
- wake up
- work
- come home, drink a beer, eat some poppadums (they come in a pringles can!)
- surf the internets
- sleep
wasn’t going to cut the mustard for a 3km run in the desert, I planned myself a nice, easy 3km route around the block, which I would run, dutifullly, every day, in an effort to reduce the amount of shame and risk of death come race day.

Times I have run this route until today? (which the website helpfully informs me is 9 days, 13 hours, 31 minutes and some seconds from race day) Well, none really. But i did try. Once. This is what happened:

Oh how I wish this were a joke.

Oh how I wish this were a joke.

Why I probably won’t keep a blog in Bahrain

Or “Lies I have told on the Internet – Part 1″

Reposted from a message board I’ve been known to frequent:

Typical Day in China: Oh hey its like 20 degrees below zero and look at that guy with no face and why is that man yelling at that chicken and oh great some new kind of noodles that are pretty much the same as the last ones I had and what the fuck did I just step in HAHA FUNNY SIGN

Today in Bahrain: I bought an Italian suit then I went to the Ritz-Carlton where lovely gentlemen from the sub-continent waited on me hand and foot speaking impeccable english while I gorged myself on the varied cuisines of the earth and no one got even a little bit drunk but I guess I had a few coffees?

Doesn’t really have the same ring to it.

Let the great experiment begin…

A blog, a fancy word, a first post, a nerdy television reference quote pun, and we’re away.

On Saturday I went to the Coral Beach Club, Manama

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to see these guys:

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A good time was had by all. Despite being forced (yea, forced) to drink extremely overpriced Budweiser. You may have noticed they were the official sponsor.

PS: Its Arrested Development.

PPS: Apparently I have to pay WordPress some kind of internet flimflam money before they’ll let me alter the CSS of this page? Urg. Oh well, tall and stretchy photos it is. Click through for better ones.