Monthly archive for April 2010

The subliminally implanted choice of a new generation

This comes via one of my students, who gave a presentation this week about the development and effects of video games (or something. It was about video games anyway).

They began by running through a few ‘classic’ video games (classic to people born after 1990) including the usual cast of hedgehogs, bandicoots and italian plumbers. The greatest nostalgic sighs however were reserved for this guy, heretofore unknown to me :

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YdqW9PAv5_M&hl=en_US&fs=1&]

Game synopsis (based on my viewing of the above): Our spandex clad corporate branded hero, Pepsi Man, is on the trail of a delivery truck with an improperly secured cargo of sugary caffeine water. On his way he must battle the evils of the municipal trash delivery, jaywalkers (who by the looks of things he ruthlessly murders on contact) and white picket fences. Each level ends with our hero posing mightily in front of a Pepsi vending machine, from which he drinks a well-earned can of Pepsi. Its a shame they felt it necessary to cut the most exciting part, where Pepsi Man restocks the machine with the bounty of soda that he found on the roads, backyards and living rooms of the game’s denizens.

By way of background: Bahrain was for many years a no-Coke zone, for various reasons that I can’t be bothered researching properly (*cough*bottling-plant-in-Tel-Aviv*cough*). Pepsi was (and to a large degree still is) the sugar-water of choice. The good folk at PepsiCo obviously decided that the next step from complete monopoly was ‘use video games to indoctrinate a generation of spandex clad Pepsi fueled super-soldiers’. Death to the Jaywalker!

NB: I understand that the sequel: “Pepsi Man 2:  Battle against Type 2 Diabetes and Tooth Decay” didn’t do so well, despite what critics described as a “thrilling final boss fight” (against colon cancer).

We feel the matter has been adequately dealt with in accordance with policy.

Dear Sir/Madam

We are writing to inform you that your child (insert student name here) was caught on Turner Elementary School premises in possession of prohibited items. The item(s) in question were: approx. 60 x bags of heroin_______________.

You will note that approx. 60 x bags of heroin is not allowed on school property without a permission slip or doctor’s note. Please refer to schedule 4(a) of the school’s Prohibited Items and Contraband Policy for further information on what students may or may not bring onto school premises.

We are further concerned that (insert student name here) was seen to distribute approx. 60 x bags of heroin amongst class mates. This constitutes unacceptable behaviour as outlined in schedules 1 – 7 of the school’s Rules and Disciplinary Procedures document.

We would like to arrange a meeting with you, (insert student name here), the headmaster and the District Attorney’s Office at the earliest convenient opportunity to discuss this behaviour with you.

Please acknowledge receipt of this letter.

Yours in education,

Turner Elementary School

Context: http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5jGAkQxvayPjRzGCibgnXslnJWwBwD9F37SMO0