Weezer. A review by Me(ezer)

Before the First Bit:

Various members of the band and crew kick one of those football sized tennis balls around the stage for a while. Not sure if this was part of the performance.

The First Bit:

The band launches into a ‘best of’ package, in reverse chronological order, leading me to the realisation that I know precisely 2 Weezer songs that were released in the last 11 years: Beverly Hills (which is a bit shit) and Keep Fishin’ (which they didn’t play). Judging by the polite but hardly enthusiastic applause of the audience, about 90% of the people there are in the same boat. The guy in charge of the video feed got to use a neato ‘ripples on a pond’ video effect whenever Rivers Cuomo said ‘going back in time’ though; which was nice for him.

The End of the First Bit:

Hashpipe, Holiday, El Scorcho. Crowd wonders when Weezer arrived and how eerie it is that they look exactly like that mediocre opening act that played all those boring songs.

The Middle Bit:

Intermission. I’m a huge fan of this. Urinary sphincters across the venue quivered at the prospect of imminent relief.

Then, in what I can only assume was the act of some deranged tru-fan or one of the band member’s dads (both?), the stage was cleared for a 20 minute slide show titled: “Do you like looking at photographs of master tape labels and illegible recording engineer data-sheets from 20 years ago? ‘Cause boy do we got ‘em.ppt”. Sample narration: “Here’s our first tour bus. Man, what a pile of junk. Here’s our second tour bus. We were so excited. Here’s a photo of us with Live. Remember Live? This master tape has 2 and a half versions of ‘Say it aint so on it’. That’s a good one. Here’s 5 pages of an exercise book that the band used to sketch ideas for a Weezer logo.” (spoiler: They chose a capital W).

The Last Bit:

The band returns to the stage, Rivers sans iconic glasses (has he been lying to us this whole time?). They play the Blue album start to finish. The crowd rejoices. The band finally look like they’re having fun. All is excellent with the world.

After the Last Bit:

The bar sells out of beer and I’m forced (forced!) to drink a can of Jim Beam and cola. It is terrible.

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