How to choose an appropriate movie for an airport departure lounge

1. Make sure that the movie contains graphic, realistic violence – guns, explosions, get it all in there.

2. The more times the word ‘fuck’ is shouted in a given minute, the better.

3. If its 1.55am, make sure the volume is turned up loud, the better to hear the machine gun fire and screams of the bereaved. You don’t want anyone nodding off.

3. Wait, since when did we show movies in departure lounges anyway?

I can only assume the good folks at Dubai International Airport ran through a similar process to this when deciding to screen Battle for Haditha at us while we waited for our flight. At 2 in the morning.

NB: its quite possibly a very good and important film, but people running around screaming FUCK FUCK FUCK and then shooting each other is not a great start to any plane journey.

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